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Jokes About Jesus (Are All Right With Me)

by Rocky Leplin

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A humorous take on the Great Emancipator.

lyrics

Jokes About Jesus (Are Alright With Me)

He told us we could have a heaven on earth,
A life full of merriment, laughter and mirth,
If we would just walk with him over the sea,
That's why jokes about Jesus are all right with me.

Jokes about Jesus are all right with me,
Funny things people say when they're down on their knees;
He taught us that cheerful's the right way to be,
That's why jokes about Jesus are all right with me.

He was kind of a short guy with a long Jewish nose,
But he knew where it was at, and how to overcome foes.
He'd turn water into wine, pass the bottle around;
He'd always walk on the water so he wouldn't drown.

He was a traveling troubadour, a storyteller by trade,
He knew a lot of good ones, even ones he had made;
Pretty soon he had a following from a mixed bag of folks,
Which is probably why he'd never tell Polish jokes

He'd stay up and party almost every night,
With all kinds of people, even ones that were white;
But he never had a lady and some thought it was queer,
But others just figured it would wreck his career.

Then this one chick named Mary, she fell for him hard,
He'd crack her up and she'd say, "Jesus H. Christ, you're a card!"
He was good with his hands and faked people out bad,
Curing sick ones with these funny little pills that he had.

But some folks got suspicious when he raised someone dead—
You could tell that he was in for some rough times ahead,
When one day he arranged for a blind man to see,
The man took one look at Jesus, and said, "Who the hell's He?"

One of his own pals turned him in when he was on the lam;
Jesus just shrugged and said, "I am What I am"
It's a shame how the politicians treated him like a bum—
They just couldn't dig where the Dude was coming from.

They erected some poles just for him and some thieves,
They found them some nails, and said, "Here, we'll use these."
It was then that old Jesus really showed them his class
When he said, "When I come back you'd best watch your ass."

This ticked them off further and they dragged him from jail,
And said, "Please cross your ankles, there's just one more nail."
You might think in this situation it was hard to stay hip,
But Jesus was a man's Man and kept a stiff upper lip.

He said something in a language no one could understand,
Except for one scholar who translated for them:
"He said, 'Hell, this is better than being sawed in half,
Anyway in the end I shall have the last laugh.' "

That's why jokes about Jesus are all right with me,
Nothing brought the Man down cause his spirit was free.
He just refused to take life seriouslee, ee, ee, ee, eeeeeeeeeeeeee!
That why jokes about Jesus are all right with me.

credits

released March 18, 2021

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Rocky Leplin Richmond, California

Rocky Leplin is a singer-songwriter and author who has written 500 songs and eight books, six of them on Amazon, including the rhymed verse epic novel "Humphrey's Long Journey Away From the Sea," the off-world romance musical "The Purpose of the Moon," and "A Psycho's Guide to Animal Companionship." ... more

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