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If You Wanna Be a Goblin

by Rocky Leplin

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Uptempo piano ballad with synthesized orchestration for middle grades.

lyrics

If you want to be a goblin
Here's what you have to do
Go find a giant cobweb
And stuff it in your shoe
Then put the shoe back on
And walk a block or two
And if you're not a goblin by then
Put the shoe on backwards
And walk up the block again

If you want to be a goblin
Here's what you have to prove
Find a caterpillar
And study how it moves
And when you think you can do it
Crawl across the floor
And if you're not a goblin by then
Turn over on your back
And crawl across the floor again

You can't just be a goblin by wishin'
It takes traiining
It takes vision
Being a goblin isn't something
You can just latch on to
Just because you want to
You have to work up a sweat
And never never ask
"Am I a goblin yet?" 

If you want to be a goblin
Here's what you have to do:
Copy any scary sound,
Much scarier than "Boo!"
Then sing it to the rafters
And if you hear strange laughter
You may just be a goblin by then
But if you aren't sure
Try a "Whoo!" or two
Until you've scared at least one friend

You can't just be a goblin by wishin'
It takes traiining
It takes vision
Being a goblin isn't something
You can latch on to
Just because you want to
You have to work up a sweat
And never never ask
"Am I a goblin yet?"

Goblins alive!
They're very scary
But necessary
Goblins alive!
They have their place
And if you ever are a goblin
I will see it in your face.

credits

released February 23, 2024

license

all rights reserved

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Rocky Leplin Richmond, California

Rocky Leplin is a singer-songwriter and author who has written 500 songs and eight books, six of them on Amazon, including the rhymed verse epic novel "Humphrey's Long Journey Away From the Sea," the off-world romance musical "The Purpose of the Moon," and "A Psycho's Guide to Animal Companionship." ... more

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